|Ganesh - the Remover |
What we think, we become. Buddha
We all know an Eeyore... it's that person who always seems to have bad luck. Things never go right for them no matter what... Life is always hard! If you were to ask an Eeyore how was their day, they would have a long list of things that didn't go well. Ask them what did go well and you'd stop them in their tracks - "nothing" would be their sad reply. Eeyore's life is exactly what they want it to be because, "What we think, we become."
My confession this Sunday night... I think I've become Maisy's Eeyore.
Oh, did I mention that Maisy's Happy Young Professional competed my Lil' Country Bumpkin at her first recognized Horse Trial? Well, Maisy came out of the trailer and marched down to the dressage warm up as if she was a almost-ready-to-retire-Grand-Prix-dressage-horse.
|All Gussied Up - Like a Grown Up|
By the time I walked down to watch, Maisy was in full warm up, ears soft, fancy prancing in a very tight electric environment. I turned to a friend and said, "I know she's mine but dear god, if she wasn't I'd be lusting after that horse!"
She entered the ring at a brilliant, relaxed trot and... wait... where is the spooking at the judges booth? The letters? Wait, why isn't she spooking at K? Wait?! That is amazing... My Lil' Country Bumpkin did her first dressage test and scored a 28.4! A 28.4!
Maisy and her HYP did well. She was very green and jumped big but competently. She did have a refusal at the first jump on the XC course. She came out of the start box as if she knew exactly what she was doing. My friend, watching, said it looked like she was confused, waiting for all the horses to follow her and stopped when they didn't. It was the last bobble of the day and off they went with her green self getting bolder as they traveled over the course.
I haven't ridden well since then. Oh, it didn't happen overnight... Over the next two weeks, I couldn't get her straight, couldn't get her to hold herself up in the ring at a canter, and finally, couldn't even force myself to jump a cross rail by myself. I was disgusted with myself and depressed... "We'll just trail ride... HYP and Dressage Trainer can show her. They ride her better than I ever will... I'll just get her fit."
We were signed up for a dressage clinic. I wanted to cancel. It would be in an indoor and Maisy hasn't been in one since the PPE and maybe not at all before that. I didn't want to humiliate myself any further. It was expensive and well, all we were capable of doing was the walk and was that worth spending the money?
"You know how to ride! Why are you riding her like you don't? Ride her exactly like you would have ridden Sugar! You have the skills and ability to make this happen for the both of you! Ride her like that!"
And, something changed. I stopped worrying that I was ruining her, that someone rode her better than me, that it was so hard and I can't make mistakes or everything gained would be lost... I stopped worrying and started to ride her. Ride her just a little tougher, a little more demanding and much more confidently... and, it was magical. I felt that "I CAN DO THIS!"
So, I dropped my entry into the mailbox. Just a schooling show and at 2'3" Elementary and I am ok with that. Just a mere 4 days ago, I had a lovely trail horse... Now, I am an eventer with a green but eager event horse!
I CAN DO THIS!