Monday, August 20, 2012

ABBY NORMAL...

Yada, yada, yada...  I've heard it all by now and don't know if I can continue to listen...  So, you hit a tree, got hurt, spent a bunch of months in pain, then got better, then horse fell on you while hunting, then you got really freaked out in kind of a PTSD way, then you sought help from some experts, went way back to cross rails, then got a bit better, then even more better... so much better that you competed and was winning til your pony spooked at a crappy little jump and you fell off, then you scratched your next event 'cause you knew you couldn't get it done and then everyone and their mother told you to sell your horse and get something easier... until you couldn't take it any more.
Beauty is everywhere (even if that's a stain on her neck)

Hey, that's my story and I believe that's my judgemental/impatient brain that's yada, yada, yada-ing itself.  Wait, isn't the story interesting anymore?  What?  You mean we're over it?  Are you saying we're normal again?

Well?  Let's just say I'm back to being totally and completely Abby Normal.  Truth be told, I was never a Take-no-prisoners and Let-me-at-um kind of Eventer.  I am the...  I-love-this-sport-and-when-I-leave-the-start-box-something-kicks-in-and-I-breathe-fire kind of Eventer.

I'm entered at Town Hill Horse Trials on Sept 2... just Beginner Novice.  My ego has healed and although my dreams/goals haven't changed, my trainer(s) finally made sense... "Drop the calendar and just ride!" 

Da Boys!
I have but one goal for Town Hill and that is to complete.  Four years ago, with Dressage Buddy in tow, I competed there without a trainer.  Sugar was spooking and spinning at scary stuff with me and winning with Eventing Trainer.  I didn't care... It was an adventure and I was game.  We ended that weekend with two stops on XC - one a spook and the other rider error.  We completed and that was enough.  

Completing will be enough and if I really want to spice it up...  I will have fun!  Just sayin'

There is much to be grateful for...  A galloping romp with the Pink Pony and her person, two amazing and fulfilling dressage lessons with the fabulous Niall Quirk (who thinks Sugar is pretty special in the unique talented way) and one incredible jumping lesson with the Eventing Trainer.  It was a week of friends - new and old...  even met one of the best horse bloggers out there...  

I may have judged others in my Lucky Lucky You! post, but for the record...  I consider myself most fortunate that I can enjoy all these wonders even if the path was painful sometimes.  I guess, the pleasures are just that much more intense because of it...  I am grateful for it all!     

I may not be particularly brave... but I do like to think of myself as "special", if you know what I mean...


ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVAH!

5 comments:

Amy said...

You are definitely special. And I have a bottle of bubbly I can bring up to MA next time I'm up there. We'll celebrate your "completion." Love that line -"drop the calendar and ride." Am going to borrow that, if you don't mind. :)

Murphy Eventing said...

My mother once asked me "Is this really worth it? Given all the money, time, the ups and downs, is this really worth all of this?" I replied "Yes!" The moment where it all comes together lasts and lasts, pushing us through the frustrations and disappointments. To ride is to have fun, and even a bad ride is still a good ride because you simply got to ride. Enjoy the ride and have fun in whichever manner joy comes to you!

Sarah W. Kinninger said...

You go girl! Enjoy the ride (judging by how you are feeling, you definitely will!) So long as you make it your own ride and do it as you feel is best for you, you'll have a great ride. Best of luck!!!

mbyrum said...

Couldn't have phrased that any better!

mbyrum said...

Completely understand what your saying here. The PTSD thing esp. I too had some very traumatic falls/crashes and after many years of riding had to start over at square one. The desire was ther but the fear was overwhelming. Like you, it was back to basics and eventually trotting became cantering and ground poles became cross rails. Changing barns and instructors did a world of good too. The most important lesson I've learned from this road to recovery...its not always a bad thing. Sometimes its a blessing in disguise, in my case, its made me take a step back and concentrate on the importance of a solid foundation and realize that there's no time limit on what we achieve. I guess it made me look at why I ride. Not for the approval of others, I do it for the joy of it, to better the relationship and skills of myself and my horse hence we become a better team together. Every ride has a lesson, something to work on next time and something that was better than last time. Yes its corny but that whole glass half full thing really has some truth to it. One day, one ride, one goal at a time ;)