Thursday, March 5, 2015

LIVING LIFE IN THE MIDDLE

I once dated a guy, (ok, it was the third time we got back together and that's a longer jucier story not appropriate for this blog), who told me that all relationships end either in a break up, marriage or death.  If it wasn't marriage I wanted than we should expect a break up and ultimately everything ends with heartbreak.  (This wasn't the most postitive of minds but he offered some other cool attributes - again not for this blog.)

After a fit of outrageous laughter, I told him that there can be alot of time between dating - breakup or death.  And, in that time couldn't we just live in the moment and enjoy what we had right there and in the now?

Used w/permission www.flatlandsfoto.com
My greatest moment of fear is when the Barn Owner calls to tell you that your horse came in from turnout 3-legged lame.  Sugar sustained a career ending and life threatening injury Monday night.  She ruptured her Superficial Digital Flexor Tendon at the base of her knee which slid down her leg until is stopped at her fetlock.  She was in severe pain... to move she would rear back on to her hind legs and load the good leg and skip over. 

The treatment to get to the point where she might live safely in a pasture would be 12 months of stall rest, restricted movement and a battle to fend off founder (think Barbaro) and colic.  And, given her personality, she would need heavy tranquilizers to keep her quiet.

Used w/permission
www.yokinaphotos.com
When we returned just four hours after recieving the maximum pain meds, she still was in intense pain and could barely move.   Founder and colic were a very real threat!  We made the tough and heartbreaking decision to euthanize her assuring her peace and safety. 

I am so grateful for Sugar's vet, who has been with us for all of her trials and tribulations over the last 10 years.  Just last year, when Sug had a neck injury (another t/o incident), she insisted that Sugar come in first between 12 and 2 because she was going to kill herself if she didn't.  Ironically, the folks at the Lil' Country Barn were almost 100% successful at keeping her safe in turnout for a full day.

Kicking butt and taking names
used w/permission www.flatlandsfoto.com
God bless all you care givers... be it veterinarians or human providers.  For her strength and compassion were gifts on a rather bleak day.  The euthanasia was perfect...  Sugar quietly dropped to her knees and left the world. 

I am heartbroken.  Sugar was a once in a life time horse...  sometimes a snuggly lil'pinto pony and sometimes Mariah Carey in a major diva fit.  She gave me so much, taught me so much and I loved her with all my heart.  Yet, she was so white, so beautiful and held so much promise that our disappointments were so real.  I wouldn't change a thing but promise that I will not try to replace her.  She should be... unique.  I'm ok with that!

Right, this was supposed to be about living life in the middle and not the end.  I've picked a few of my favorite Sugar stories that tell so much about living and loving the middle of life.  Enjoy, if you're inclined:
There will be so many more stories to tell, some about her, alot about life and soon, the plain brown lil' boy who will jump all the jumps... all the time!

Thank you for your support and loving words... I find solace in that so many folks under stood this beautiful, wild thing that I loved so much!

25 comments:

Sarah K said...

I am so very sorry. It has been a delight to read about your experiences and recoveries. She was beautiful and full of personality - thank you for sharing and letting us readers into your lives.

stampyandthebrain said...

I don't think I've ever commented on your blog before, but I've read along for quite a while. Your ability to share the most painful things in such a positive way is truly amazing. Just the thought of how you must have felt getting that call and going through the steps to end Sugar's suffering had to have been so difficult.
I'm sure she is running around somewhere happy and free!

Judy Meehan said...

Suzanne, I again am sooo sorry about Sugar's end. I never "met" her, but I feel that I knew her from your blogs/posts. I have had many dogs and have had to put them down....always sad and hard. I'm raising a granddaughter now....that's all I can handle (plus "raising" Maxine!)Looks like you are in FL. Lucky you! Snowing heavily here....again!God Bless us All :)
Love, Judy

T Myers said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful girl. Xx

Amanda said...

Much love. I am so, so, sorry I have been thinking about you and about Sugar and randomly tearing up since I saw the news. What an extraordinary team. I don't think I've ever known anyone who loved and worked harder with her horse - I really mean that.

Kelly said...

It was all I could do to get thru reading till the end of this post. My thoughts will be with you. My hope is that there is a special heaven for all who have made the most painful of decisions on behalf of their best friend.

Lauren @ She Moved To Texas said...

I'm a long time reader but rare commenter. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sugar was a very special horse and touched many!

SprinklerBandit said...

Another longtime reader, infrequent commenter. I cannot imagine the sudden heartbreak. Hugs to you and happy trails to her.

Jen said...

Also a long time reader and infrequent commenter, but I have always loved following you and Sugar's story. I am so sorry to read that both of you had to go through what you did. Thank you for sharing, and writing such a beautiful post in what had to be a lot of pain.

Austen Gage said...

I've followed you and Sugar for a long time. She was a personality like no other. I hope you are able to find some comfort in the passing days and months, and know that you were a partner in her crime.

Sarah said...

Sending you hugs and warm thoughts. Its truly the hardest thing there is to do.

Karen Burch said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss and wish I could rest a moment in silence and grief and loss with you.

As Mark Rashid said, "It is the price of the ticket." And if we are going to continue to ride and adore and love these great hearted beasts, it is a price we are going to have to pay.

Hugs.

emma said...

So very sorry for your loss

Karen said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I enjoyed reading about you and Sugar very much. She was very loved.

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

So sorry for your loss. I've enjoyed following you and Sugar's exploits.

That final decision is so hard, even when it's the very best thing you can do... hugs.

Maureen Adams Goodman said...

Suzanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I do not think I can adequately express the depths of how I feel for you. I know the love and passion you have for horses. I have witnessed firsthand your perseverance in following your dream of owning your own horse from the time we were little girls. One of the things I know Sugar helped you to do was live in the moment. So many gifts you shared together. May you always cherish your memories. Thank you for your amazing writing! (A true gift) Love you!!!

KC said...

This is what I admire most about you - your ability to live in the present and look for the good in all. I am amazed at your resilience and hope you find peace in all the support around you.

redheadlins said...

I am a new follower, regardless, I am gutted for you. That decision is one of the most difficult we horse people have to make, words do not suffice. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with heart break.

Amy said...

She will be missed, Suzanne. Both our Sugars left this world too early, but we were so lucky to have them while they were here. Wishing you peace.

Melissa-ParadigmFarms said...

Oh no Suzanne, I am almost at a loss for words. I was just catching up on my blogs and this was the last thing I was expecting to read on your blog.

Sugar was definitely a once in a lifetime horse and I so enjoyed reading about your adventures together. She was lucky to have you, and you her. You were a great team. Hugs.

T said...

Long time reader - I'm so sorry to hear about Sugar. You and Sugar have kept me inspired and I have very much enjoyed following along. Heartbroken for you, take care of yourself.

Mickey said...

Oh Suzanne. I'm so very very sorry for your loss. My girls always said she was the prettiest horse ever- she glowed. All horses were compared to the beautiful mare. Thinking of you. Mickey.

Tracy Beavers said...

There are no words to describe how sorry I am for your loss, Suzanne. You've both inspired me to keep going in my darkest hours (many of which were after I lost my own horse of a lifetime) and for that I am truly grateful. Thank you for sharing Sugar with us <3

Trish Pierce said...

Oh wow. Deep, deep sympathies on your sudden loss of this sassy companion. I, too, have enjoyed your stories, and was so saddened to hear of your loss. Your tribute is kind and beautiful, as has been so much of your writing about your journey together. Thank you for sharing her with us, and may you find comfort in her memory. Godspeed, Sugar!

Jodi said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and wishing you the best.