SUCH A WHINER...

Tough to be him

Gosh I love my foxhound, Chandler Bing (aka, Mr Floppy).  He is most adorable, funny and cuddly.  Strangely enough, I've never had an animal that was so loving AND affectionate. 

Jonah (aka, The Convict) loves me...  He is much like the boyfriends of my past - doing things that demonstrate love, giving me things (and for Jonah, that means my dirty socks or barn shoes) that could be about love but never actually using the word "love" ever... 

But, I digress...  this was about whining...  You see, all of Chandler's "love" comes with a NEED to be with me...  If I am not close or he feels that I am leaving, he begins to fret, which becomes a whimper until the whining begins...  And, then the barking and then the yelling...  (ooops, that's me).  That whining is so irritating that one begins to forget the LOVE and, well...

I jumped last night.  And it was good!  My body felt balanced, my lower leg strong and my reflexes just about above average.  And, I was happy... no THRILLED!  The height is coming back and I can feel the progress moving forward.  Unfortunately, all this reflection and all this peace and serenity over my future comes after I'm done (and sometimes hours after I'm done.)

You see, despite all the new age, alternative therapies and positive thinking/projecting I do, I still find myself a whiner at heart.  I wonder sometimes if my Eventing and Dressage Trainers just want to slap me silly when the whimpering starts in all attempts to stop the whining.   (Hmmm, maybe I'm cute and cuddly like Chandler....)

A wise woman once told me (well, tells me many times) that life is about progress, moving one step forward rather than focusing on perfection. 

My Boyfriend

I could quit....  I mean I love dressage and hunting...  so why not?  Why bother "torturing" myself with anxiety, fretting and whining.  Just do the fancy dancing...  It's easy and quite fun when things begin clicking and all that power and grace is contained underneath... enjoying the fine line between control and explosion...

Yeah, I think like that everytime I put the jumping saddle on...  What I know to be true from the very core of my being is that when I jump and when I come off a cross country course...  there is no greater high than the one I was on....  It is that good! 

So, for today...  I wish I wasn't battling my demons with whine!  Yet, the journey has been most excellent and promises to be even more...  I guess I just embraced my inner-foxhound!