Monday, August 17, 2015

DEMONS FOR TEA!

The Wise Man told a story today about a woman practicing her yoga as three demons come crashing through the front door screeching and circling her ominously.  When the din became so loud that she no longer could practice, she built a fire.  The demons screamed and followed her into the kitchen as she quietly filled a tea pot and set it on the fire.  Louder and closer they came but she serenely went about setting four cups, cream and sugar and a plate of the finest scones.
Not a worry here!
The demons could stand it no longer and swooped down and asked what she was doing.  "Well", she said, "you will always be here, invited or not.  You might as well stay for tea."  With that, the demons quieted and joined her for a cup of tea...  her terms and not theirs.

You know, Maisy has been fantastic...  I think she is going to be the perfect amateur's horse and I'm lucky to have her.  Oh, there are moments of...  "Really?  What's up with that?"  But, I must emphasize that I'm talking about moments.  And, never once have I felt like a rock start riding out the wild thing... because Maisy is an agreeable, level-headed, nothing-phases-me kind of horse.

Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
Yet, I still live with those demons!  I still fight the fight to keep the demons at bay so I can jump anxiety free.  And what a fight it is.  If I jump something every week, there is progress.  Missing a week sets me back and I want to scream at my trainer, "Dear God, don't push me! (even if there is no push intended)"

Maisy is green.  And her balance in the ring needs much work but oh my!, the potential is amazing.  And, the pleasure I get from riding a spook free horse can not be adequately described.  Sometimes I think, wow, Sugar really was hard to ride.  And, when I have to ride out in a big field as the sun disappears into darkness and my Lil' Country Bumpkin keeps working as if it was noon, I could cry with the joy of having such a good girl.

It's the demons that disturb...  They are ghosts of things unresolved in my past.  And, the fight to hold them at bay is exhausting.  Do I invite them for tea?  Offer them the finest scones?  Acceptance has a power unto itself...  So, I am a bit of a weenie jumper (now)?  So what?  Who is really judging me?

Do they even like tea?  Wait, scones are delicious!  I think accepting them as a part of my experience and allowing them to show up and then setting them aside to eat and drink as I ride is the right thing to do...

Hmmmm, do you think they'll steal the silver tea set while I'm jumping?  Hmmmm!

{{{{At a Meditation Retreat... a silent retreat!  I do know how to partay!!!}}}}}

5 comments:

emma said...

Maisy sounds like such a good girl! i know all about those jumping demons, and they are persistent, pesky and insolent little buggars. good luck working through it!

Heather said...

Maisy is such a pretty girl! Sending good, demon-conquering vibes to you!

SprinklerBandit said...

Sugar was a really challenging horse. You rode her well, but you definitely have baggage. So glad you have Maisy to work through the demons on.

Equine Mum said...

Hey your super blog is Haynets Blog of the Day! Come and take a look: http://www.hay-net.co.uk/haynet-news/8551/equestrian-blog-of-the-day-confessions-of-an-aa-event-rider-and-convicted-over-thinker

Unknown said...

Riding is such a mental game for me -- I battle my own demons too!