WHO REALLY WON THE LOTTERY?

If you know me, you know how much I love to play the lottery.  Now, I do not have a gambling addiction.  You see, I believe that my little $1 will win Megamillions or Powerball.  The only thing I'm not clear is when...  I wanna be a Billionaire!

OHEC - Sugar's View

Ahhh, to live a life of leisure with my full time staff attending to my every need.  My home will be fabulous with stunning views, carefully prepared meals and transportation, complete with my own driver, on the finest vehicles.  My personal assistant will scurry about making sure I look my finest wearing the latest (and most comfortable styles).  Ahhhhh...  that life...

Wait!  Hold on!  That life I want... that life I dream about...  OMG...  IS SUGAR's!  How did that happen? Hmmmmm...

OHEC - Her paddock view

I do believe Sug won the lottery 'cause she has everything I dream about, including calling the City Barn her home with its fantastic facilities, great views and a caring staff.  She is a lucky horse, indeed!

Tuesday is Sugar's appointment at Tufts Veterinary Hospital ('cause only the finest will do).  She is still NQR - reluctant to move forward on the lunge, unable to hold her canter and still exhibiting neurological symptoms.  An organic cause was ruled out - not EPM. 

Folks have asked me how "I was holding up".  For the record, I am a rampant optimist.  I believe that they will either find something and fix it or they won't find anything and she'll be good to go. There a million of scenarios lurking in either of those results - a million of them.  I choose not to open any of those doors...

This philosophy works for me.  I learned this well when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005.  I knew I was going to live because I had all the good characteristics...  Yet to survive the ordeal from mammogram, surgery, chemo and finally to radiation (6 months), I had to deal with "What I Know to be True" rather than live in fear and speculation.  And, I did this one day at a time...

So, now I have to run out and get that lottery ticket.  I want to live a life just like Sugar!

DIRTY GIRL...

Used with permission
www.yokinasphoto.com

{{{{Hmmm, that title will boost readership...  I just wonder how many folks googling will be wicked disappointed.  Just sayin'...}}}}

"How do you get her so white?" 

There are times in my life that I believe that I'm low maintenance, just an easy-going-take-life-in-stride kind of gal.  You know the type, nothing bothers them, things come into their life and they toss their long blonde hair and with sparkling blue eyes they laugh with delight while hopping in their shiny immaculate blue dually. 

I am brown haired, brown eyed and really kind of not.... low maintenance.  And, Sugar is dirty...  yup, dirty.  Her bright white coat is blotched with manure stains and one very prominent dollop of urine.  Below her hocks, you can not detect the white in her tail. 

I groom.  I do not bathe for cleanliness, I groom.  Torn between two lovers (work and Sug).  I need to work today but those dirty bits call to me, they beg me to wisk them away.  Begging even more for the hard brush

And this morning, my dirty girl is still NQR and I have finally begun to feel the worry and fret of what is unknown.  She is better than she was that first night, yet she still appears to have neurological symptoms.  My vet, god bless her, agrees that its time for the big guns and that waiting for it to resolve may just prolong that very appointment.  So, she's scheduled for a neurological exam at Tufts Veterinary Hospital and, if appropriate nuclear scintigraphy (bone scan).

Oh, did I mention that Sugar is a dirty girl? 

Tonight, I left work late after finishing a presentation that will take me away for the next two days and I groomed my lil' pinto pony as Da Boys cleaned food bits off the stall floor.  She is white again  and I will sleep well tonight. 

"How do you get her so white?"

PARENTING JUST GOT REAL!

Observing the farm happenings in
solitary confinement!

This one is for you!  That's right, this post is for all you working mothers, single parents of both sexes and families with two working partners....  this one is all yours!

You see, I am one of those single-never-been-married-with-no-children kind of person.   If you asked the teenage me, I would have told you I was going to be a veterinarian with four kids and a husband living on a beautiful farm filled with horses.  Yup, that was my teenage self.  {{{Hmmm...  note the order... hmmm).

Life rolls out on a winding path and I end up being a really fantastic aunt (my blog, I write what I want to) and that suits me just fine.{{{My mom is shaking her head somewhere muttering, 'those horses and those dogs"  and "spinster"  She's not an animal person and had a husband and 8 kids.}}}

"Run away!  Run away!"

Working mothers, single parents and working parents, I salute you!  And, if you also are a rider/competitor, I bow in your honor!  I do not know how you do it!

Sugar is NQR.  She came up, well not really lame but, scary unsteady on her feet and wobbly walking.  Her step was that of a big time model walking down a Paris runway...  her front legs carefully and slowly crossing over each other...  very strange...  Her hind end was not "right" either and once when turned too tightly she almost fell over.  

"Neurological' stated the vet after her examination.  X-rays of her neck show "something" on the C6 vertebrae which could be arthritis or something more.  The nerve could be pinching...  All of the vagaries are due to the difficulty of getting a GREAT x-ray on  a very muscled horse.  She is being treated as if she had slip and fall in turnout which injured the neck causing the symptoms and possibly splayed her legs which may have caused a muscle strain or pull in her hind end.



Da Boys looking for love
in all the wrong places!

I'm running back and forth from vet to work and Da Boys are being short changed for attention.  When I come home, I want to crash but they want me to play...  "leave me alone"! 

And the DMSO bolus Sug rec'd as part of her treatment leaves me nauseous.  Every time she breathes in my direction, I can not help but to turn away and tell her that she stinks.  I abandoned my lil girl to the Barn Manager because I could not deal with the smell.   Really, what mother does that to an ailing child?  

Not a worry, it's all being taken
care of...

How do you do it?  I'm asking all of you working mothers/single parents?  How do you take care of your kids, get them to the doctors, manage their care and still take care of those kids still left at home?  Oh, and while doing all of that, how do you manage your career?  Are there any tips or tricks you can share? 

And, if these were my kids and not just my animals, would I need to prepay their therapy sessions to help them deal with the neglect?  {{{And what is with the word my - my kids, my animals...'sup wit dat?}}}

Note - Sugar is showing improvement after the first treatment of DMSO and Dexamethasone... Vet feels it really is an acute injury possibly a slip and fall in turnout injuring her neck and possibly splaying her front and/or hind legs in the slip.  If the tests for an organic cause come back negative and she continues to show improvement, then she may be back in work in a week.  (Didn't want to leave you hanging.)

RIDING DA BUS ALONE!

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey

If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I had a bad fall and then it, and a series of other falls and injuries left me confident-less riding a mare who requires a confident ride.  And, it's been "entertaining" to go through the ups and downs of rehabbing a broken brain. 

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Area 1's Eventing Season!  It is the day I drop my first entry into the mailbox and dream the dream of the mad...  And I mean - the madness of a bat-sh*t, crazy person!  I have secretly begun to plan my move-up to training in the fall as often as I've retired my vest, skull cap and colors to be a full-time DQ.  See?  Crazy, bat-sh*t, crazy!

And this season the DWSB (Double Wide Short Bus), I say with a heavy heart, will have an empty space.  The Bestest Eventing Buddy moved to new barn... far away.  (Well, too far away for me to trailer-pool with her.)  It will be the first time in 7 years that I will drop that entry into a mailbox alone. 

Folks, if you have a Bestest Eventing Buddy, you know what a gift it is to share the wild weirdness of eventing. Will I laugh as hard at achieving another level of mediocrity?  Will there be another coffee addict who understands the value of a well placed hotel near a Dunkin Donuts?  Who will eat the strawberry glazed donut chased down with a medium iced hazelnut with cream and sugar?  Is there someone out there who can keep the secrets of "Da Bus" secret?  Will they make me laugh?  And after we unpack the trailer and tuck the ponies in for the night, will that person eat inappropriate foods that live a lifetime in our bodies?

I'm sure there will be others and some as much fun but there will never be anyone like the Bestest Eventing Buddy - she was truly unique.  For this, I say thank you!  I will miss you!  I know we'll still see each other, still share experiences and for that I will cherish. 

Tomorrow, I will drop that entry into the mailbox wondering if it will be as much fun!  Let the season begin!

TEACHER, TEACHER, CAN YOU TEACH ME?

So, sometimes when I tell my mom that I have a lesson or am going to a lesson, she'll reply, "I thought you knew how to ride?" And then like the good girl I am, I try to explain why I still take lessons to a non-horsey, non-competitive person. {{{Hmmm, maybe I should just call my trainer a coach... 'cause she understands anything and everything about football.}}}

OHEC XC course buried in 2' of snow

Yesterday's jumping lesson was a good one.  One of the barn kids set up the course for us which, with one minor adjustment, was wholeheartedly approved by the Eventing Trainer and was greeted with angst from this rider.  She included the dreaded green roll top. 

Now, our jumping is getting better and better with bigger jumps and more complex courses.  It has not included any Sugar/Suzanne scary stuff.   And this 13 year old dragged out and dusted off the one scary element left after the snowbirds left for Aiken.

OHEC XC course early fall

I looked Eventing Trainer in the eye and said, "Let's get the green roll top over with!"  She did not coddle me.  She did not reflect on last week's issues and fall at the dark green oxer!  She responded, matter-of-factly, "I think that's a good plan!" 

And, we jumped it!  First like a gazelle trapped by hunters lunging over a 6' fence and then, soon, like a jumping horse.  I heard myself say, at the end of the lesson, "maybe we should bring out hay bales next week".  {{{Who am I?}}}

Spring... soon!

It takes something special to be a good instructor.  {{{Not the "special" kind of special.}}}  The job is not easy...  You deal with weather all the time and sometimes in the extremes.  Your days can be long and your students (particularly adults) are not always fully present.  The gifted ones can push an edge without crushing a spirit.  Challenge without being intimidating... 

I've been very lucky finding my current trainers.  They are honest, hard working and very special (in that good kind of way).  I'm coming out of a 2.5 year struggle and neither gave up on me.  {{{OK, maybe Sugar and I as a pair, which is understandable.}}}

So, let the lessons come and I'll keep explaining why I keep taking them...  And, I will have a smile inside and out 'cause it is getting better and I'm having fun again!

GRATITUDE ROCKS

A sunny,cold day riding
in powdery foot deep
 snow is pretty fabulous!

Trailering Sugar is stressful and trailering to a jumping lesson at another barn adds a new level of stress.  Seems that despite my efforts at taking it easy and going slow with the returning confidence, I still up the ante.  It was 10 degrees and I began to think that this was the stupidest idea I've ever had (and I have had many).

We were alone getting ready for our jumping lesson and my anxiety was climbing when a woman strolled in with a big smile on her face.  "Hi, I'm Grateful Rider, GR for short!  Are you riding with me?  Oh great and she's a pinto!  This is going to be so much fun this morning!"

GR is a working mother with two young children with just enough time to lease a horse for a couple of rides a week.  And today, despite all the weekend obligations of a mother with active children, she managed to schedule a jumping lesson with the guest trainer (mine) who was also the woman that taught her to ride as a young teen.



Joy begets more joy!

As we horse girls do, we chatted about our rides and expectations for the lesson.  She mentioned to me that she hadn't jumped in a long time... wasn't sure what to expect...  knew he was a good boy... and was a little nervous to ride with Eventing Trainer.   And, as you might guess I told her that I was getting back... feeling better about my jumping...  was anxious... and looking forward to lessoning there...

 And we jumped!  Eventing Trainer put together a fantastic gymnastic (bounce, bounce, one stride/oxer, one stride, bounce bounce), with an outside line (four forward, five easy strides) and another angled vertical on the other side. 

Her horse was an easy going, hunterly fellow with an occasional spook.  Their energy was magnificent... happy, forward and peaceful.  I was so excited to ride and said how much I loved being in the same arena with them.


Curiosity and exploration replaces anxiety and dread

GR, as if sitting in the lotus position on top of a mountain overlooking a lush valley, replied, "This is a gift for me... every second I'm in the saddle I just thank god that I have the opportunity to ride.  And to be able to ride this horse, in a lesson with Eventing Trainer is the biggest gift at all.  I try not to make mistakes and I want to do well, yet I always remember that every stride, every jump and every moment is to be cherished."

Hmmmmm....  Hmmmmm...  and, then I thought, "EXACTLY!"

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and that same energy in my heart...  We're jumping Beginner Novice/Novice jumps, the technical aspects of the lessons are getting more complicated and when things aren't perfect, I move on! 

Thank you GR 'cause gratitude really does rock!!!!

POSSIBILITIES ARE BOUNDLESS

A Wise Woman once asked me if I knew what the worst word in the English Dictionary was?  I blushed and tentatively started, "Not the ___".  She stopped me with a look, "No, not that word and yes, that one is pretty bad, it just isn't the worse.  The worst word in the English Dictionary is the word, BUT." 

Now, she wasn't not talking about an ample bottom or anything in relation to the nasty end of a cigarette.  She was clearly talking about a simple word that can stop a sentence dead in it's tracks and then burst forward changing what was into something very different.

Consider conversations you've had or overheard:

• You're doing a great job {{here it comes}}}, but ___________________!
• I like what you did on that project, but ___________________!
• I want to move back up to Novice, but _____________________!

That one word, "but" has the ability to change everything that proceeded it.  Think about all those times you've used that word and if you can't remember any then listen for it... see how it's used and when.

I'm at a yoga meditation retreat a Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health this weekend. The workshops seem to be designed specifically for me.  And like the horse crazy girl I am, all the lessons seem to point towards my riding, eventing and, yes...  work. 

I heard myself say, "the possibilities are boundless as long as I believe it to be true and act accordingly, {{{and, here it comes}}} but ______________! 

You see?  That little word broke the heart of all those possibilities.  It encourages one to list the reasons why it won't happen.  And then all reasons hold more power, more energy than the hope that came before that tiny word, "but".

A girls gotta eliminate the "buts" and replace  with a connector, the word "and".  And brings it together, solidifies the wish and makes it happen.  See for yourself:

The possibilities are boundless as long as I believe it to be true, act accordingly and, _______________!

I can feel the ending...  make it happen!   I wanna move up to Novice and, I'll make it happen!   2014 is gonna be a good year, indeed!