Monday, September 5, 2011

LET THE COWGIRL RIDE!!!

Heading out...  Let the games begin
Photo by Jeff Phaneuf, dedicated Eventer Dad  (not mine, Janelle's)
So I could wander around in this post telling some tale from the past or setting up some vague, perhaps, meaningful metaphor in order to set the mood...  But really?  All I want to do is dance!  Dat's right...  All I want to do is dance the joyous dance of the free!!!! 

It has been a long rehab/recovery...  and truthfully, my effen ribs still ache and I have some weakness/pain in my hip and thigh.  {{{My sister lovingly told me that the lump on my left hip, the one I'm sure is the remnant of the football sized hematoma is in fact my own middle-aged lumpy buttock.  I thanked her for the support.}}}

It's been kind of like the seven stages of grief:

1) SHOCK & DENIAL - From the moment I hit the tree... it's just a torn pectoral muscle, I'm ok to the I'll be riding again in a week... to being absolutely unable to understand why I still had so much pain after just three weeks...

2) PAIN AND GUILT - Pain... 'nough said.  I was riddled with guilt, thinking I rode like crap, that maybe I wasn't good enough, that I should just give Sugar up to the pros that did so much better with her.

3) ANGER AND BARTERING - See ANGRY MARE ON STALL REST

4) DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS - I never really got too far into this.  I was grateful for the great help and support of friends and family.  The inability to live MY life and the sometimes overwhelming feeling of "being a burden" did catch me more often then I care to admit.
Hope and Happiness
Bathed in Brilliance

5) THE UPWARD TURN - Each return to normalcy brought more energy and that energy brought more bits of normalcy.

6) RECONSTRUCTION AND WORKING THROUGH - Doing more, involving friends willing to help you do more, asking trainers for support and guidance is building a stronger foundation than what I had before I hit the tree.

7) ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE - Let the Cowgirl ride!!!!

Not that tree..
some other day perhaps
All I want to do is dance!  Sugar and I had an awesome weekend of galloping, jumping and reawakening our Inner Cowgirl!  We galloped through thick woods pretending we were out on a cross country course.  Characteristic of my naughty girl, it felt a bit like skiing... slooshing back and fourth... spook, jump to the side, spook, jump to the other side.  She was so happy to gallop again that her stride was exuberant. 

Never, not even once, did I even think about getting hurt, getting spun off into a tree...  like a kid, it was sheer fun...

And, today we jumped...  It was hot as hades...  I felt reborn... wild and free.  NOTHING can stop us...  right Sug? Nothing!  And that is good.

So, this evening...  Omnibus in hand, I seek out ways to extend my season that never really got started.  Area II...  the DWSB is gonna be back on da road agin!

1 comment:

Seema said...

looking forward to seeing you guys out and about.