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| Oh Wise One... tell me your secrets... |
There is a fine line between passion and obsession. One feels warm, soothing and fills your soul and the other, a desperate clinging to some THING to keep fear or longing at bay. I've been on both sides of that fence.
At work today:
Me: "Just until the rib fractures heal, then I'm back at it."
Them: "That's just crazy... you should quit... {mumbles} too dangerous!"
First and foremost, I must say that neither my Mom nor my Sister, (a former trauma nurse) have said this. And, for that, I am truly grateful. I'm pretty sure my Sister understands the passion and is holding her thoughts to herself. My mom... well... we'll see...
"Why do we do this?" Now this is a statement/question that I have heard way too much over the past year. And yet, no one has a clear answer. "Why do we do this?" Is it an addiction? An obsession?
Why do we rush through the pain so we can risk it all over again? Why do we tend tirelessly to our horse partners in efforts to keep them safe and sound? When they break, we cry for our loss and then kick it in doing whatever needs to be done to have them back partnering once again.
And when we leave the showgrounds, with or without polyester... why do our hearts sing... "Can't wait to do it all again!"
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| Our first show 2005 two months post chemo healthy today |
Horses, Eventing... It is a community of like souls. Yeah, we're somewhat feral in our willingness to get down and dirty. And, there is something wild about what we do... lighting that fire in our bellies. It is a contest like none other... elegant, exacting dressage, a cross country run that is both bold and brave - you and your horse as one and never forget powerful, precise stadium jumping.
I may piss and moan, reacting to my show nerves, that I don't wanna ride in the heat, rain, mud, etc. But, the second I turn down center line, or enter the start box, or hear the whistle blow, I know that there is no other place I'd rather be...
Nah, I will not quit. Maybe the answer to the question "Why do we do this?" lies deeply in our soul - not easily extracted.
Nah, I will not quit, what would I do?
1 comment:
I hear you. My good friend just recently had a ball fall off her young horse and we always talk about how our co workers never understand us. Always judging our time and commitment. Do what makes you happy, our bodies can take quite a beating, and if your passion stays strong you will heal quickly. People who are not horse people will never understand unfortunately.....for them :)
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