The Family Stroll in the XC course at the City Barn |
Ok, so I'm moving up from my C-game to maybe being at, say... my B-game... so to be the Best, I might not select Eventing at my venue just yet. Sug's a spooky girl, so that leaves out a bunch of things... And, really the idea of riding the trails for more than 2 hours makes me shudder so Endurance Riding is out... Foxhunting season is six weeks away... hmmmm....
I can and will be the BEST NEUROTIC BOARDER (BNB) at the City Barn! There are three barns full of Boarders and competition is going to be fierce! I know I can win this... And, if you too have the thirst for this title, here are some tips to really sharpen up your game:
ON NOTES:
- When writing a note to the Barn Staff, be sure to use a light colored (grey or yellow) permanent marker. The paper should be anything small so that the ink from the marker bleeds and the words are blotted and thick. This level of detail in the materials selected will guarantee that the note will be carefully scrutinized as they struggle to read it.
- Be sure to write your note in every place you think the Barn Staff might pause to wipe the sweat from their eyes assuring that it will be read.
- Never assume that the Barn Staff will be able to read your note while pausing. Use other communication media at YOUR disposal, such as but not limited to, texting, calling, facebooking and tweeting. (And my personal... blogging).
- Remember, if you don't succeed once - try, try and try again.
More detail please! |
ON THE DETAILS
- Right, details! You can not give enough detail. The Barn Staff absolutely love to have every little thing written out. So why ask for them give her her meds when you can tell them to give her her meds exactly 12 hours apart after carefully shaking the bottle 27 times and using the second dosing syringe on the left, just inside the pocket in the third locker to the right.
- And, while some requests may seem extraordinary, the Barn Staff revels in creativity and change.
- I can not stress, that you can not communicate enough so, call and text those details to them also.
ON JUST BEING YOURSELF
- Interrupt the Barn Staff repeatedly. They love the attention.
- Bring your dogs really early in the morning... Barking at 6am is really just an extra wake up call and you know... no one wants to oversleep their alarm. Or, leave them in your horse's stall while you ride... a little noise early in the evening just helps everyone appreciate the quiet later.
- Being neurotic isn't easy, so practice often.
Let's do that thing!