REVERSE THE CURSE - CHECK!

Photo by Liz Kast

In 2004, after 86 seasons, the Boston Red Sox ended the Curse of the Bambino...    Now, I am not a multi-million dollar baseball player and I'm not going for World Series glory and fame.  No, I'm just a Master (aged) BN rider who just wanted to (in the order of importance), stay in the tack all the way back to the trailer, complete the event, and/or go clean...  I wondered as I dropped my Town Hill Horse Trials entry, if I could Reverse my Curse in four! 

You see, in order to "Reverse the Curse", expectations were gonna be kind of high since our performance at Town Hill the last three tries were... um...  not great:

• 2013 - A much too aggressive correction equaled a very white buttocks galloping off into the sunset (http://confessionsofanaaer.blogspot.com/2013/09/grrrr-gone-wild.html)
• 2012 - Two stops on course and being dumped after completing XC (http://confessionsofanaaer.blogspot.com/2012/09/winning-with-8577.html)
• 2010 - Two stops at the same jump (pre-blogging days) and an abysmal dressage test.

Water Complex at sundown

Friends would ask, 'Why do you keep going there if you do so badly each year?"  Why?  They run a beautiful event, over great terrain, with cool jumps and questions, are efficient scoring and are really nice people.   And if you do well, there are prizes that go with the brightly colored polyester.

Generally, dressage is a sh*t show since warming up alongside galloping XC horses is tooo exciting for one to remain earthbound.  Wait!  They moved dressage far away from an active XC course?  There is an eventing god! 

Our warmup was going to be different this time.  Dressage Trainer and I had a long conversation on how to keep my little princess' hooves on the ground.  Just keep her moving, turns on the forehand... canter when you can... return to turns on the forehand.  Keep her brain and body engaged.

Photo used with permission
www.yokinasphoto.com

And when it was our turn, I walked her up to the judges booth/scary pop up tent and then proceeded at a nice slow trot, shoulder-fore and leg yielding.  For the first half of the test, I actually felt that we were going to break into the 20's and then, out of the corner of her eye, Sugar caught the galloping horses way off in the XC field.  She lept up and over in a huge spook at B and did two tempe changes on the canter circle to the left.  She accepted every aid as a call to for aires above ground.  We finished cantering down the center line into a nice square halt (got an 8). 

The Judge mentioned that she really wanted to be doing 4th level dressage...  And scored us with a generous 35.5.

Sugar's Twenty-Something-Friend (TSF) was our compatriot and competing her fabulous Youngster at Training level.  Her times were early and tight.  Here is where I confess...  Anxiety was once again my unwelcome guest.  I so want to be the kind of Eventing Friend that you want to travel with and not a whiny/needy/weeny rider...  (A girl has to have goals.)  I did not want to fall apart in a heap of self misery and loathing.    So I took Dressage Trainer's advice, "do one task at a time, keep moving" until it was my time to roll. 



2013 THF
Photo used w/ permission
www.connecticutphoto.com
 

Anxiety sucks.... there I said it!  What folks don't hear is the ranting going on in my head....  (I'm done!, I can't do this!, This is too hard!  What if Sugar jumps the brush (7a) and then sees the oxer (7b) and spins me off in a spook?... blah, blah, blah!) 

And when we approached the oxer with the box underneath it in the warmup, Sug spooked and dumped me.  Well, that's my version.  Sug's TSF's version is that she did spook, I leaned and stopped riding and dismounted ungracefully.  "Now do it again!"

Stadium Jumping - double clear!

In the XC warmup, Sug's TSF told me to go out on course, jump one jump and then look to the next.  If at any point, I felt we needed to retire, we could after jumping the next jump.  (Hmmmm)  And, added. ride your line and the combinations will come right where you want them to be...  just hold your line and ride her...  Don't push her either before or after the jump - just keep your leg on and allow the jump to happen.

5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1  Have a great ride!

It took 4 jumps before it felt that Sug was on fire...  She was game and goey but still questioned the possibility of a zombie apocolypse beginning with each approaching jump.  As long as I stayed in the game and encouraged her forward, she jumped (haybales, houses and barns)  At Fence 4, we had a slight discussion about the reality of zombies.  I kept my leg on her and instead of spooking and spinning, she drifted right and I took out the flag... 


Wish I could say I was fist pumping at the finish...
just fixing the helmet!
Photo by Polly Phillips

And, we were off...  no discussions, no spooks... just gallop and jump.  When we came up to my nightmare fence, I trusted the experience of Sug's TSF, held our line... trusting and still riding.  Sugar jumped the brush up and through me (like a flower opening) hit the ground and galloped to the oxer like a PRO.  When we landed, she pulled...  I said loudly for her to hear...  "Girl, if you want to gallop, you just go ahead!  Run like the wind because nothing will be better than that for me!"

Finished clear with .4 speed faults...  Reverse the Curse!  Check!

There is nothing better than running xc clean and fast.  And, every time I do it, I know I can do it.  The nerves fall away, the mind clears and it is just Sugar and I... 

Let me repeat - Nothing will be better than that for me!

GRRRR GONE WILD!

Sometimes you just gotta break some rules...  you know... get a little bad, make a little madness and just let go!  Yeah, that feels real nice and a little naughty...  Unfortunately, as a Master (old) Rider, the only rules I'm breaking (and way too often) are Judy Rossi's Four Rules of Eventing:

Four Rules of Eventing

1. Leave together and come back together
2. Don't scare the spectators
3. No crying in Eventing (unless its with sheer joy in the moment)
4. Nobody cares on Monday

Course Walks at Sunset...  a bonus for Eventers!

The only rule I did not break at Town Hill Horse Trials this weekend is #3.  I did not cry and I believe after I had a moment of cursing as I watched the white buttocks galloping away, I laughed.  We were having a most awesome XC run... galloping in stride, a horse jumping up and under me and a lightness of heart and the thrill of the moment...  until that second when I over-reacted and Ms Sugar reacted in kind and thus broke Rules #2 and then Rule #1.  And I will be telling this story again on Monday (#4).

Sometimes a trainer is just a trainer - "Do this, more hind leg, do that again and (my personal favorite) Well, I wouldn't have done it THAT way!" - tuning you up to perform well, maybe even better than expected.   And other times... their words are sheer genius...  At Town Hill, my Eventing Trainer did not tell me to "get after her", "growl at her", "get a little mad", "be mad"...  no, this time she quietly said, "Ride her calmly and tactfully!  Let her know you mean business but be calm, be tactful and pat her if she seems to be ramping up.  Be determined, calm and tactful!"

Hmmm, do you think she was trying to make a point?

Bestest Eventing Buddy at PT

Sug had the agitation of a mare in high heat.  I had her brain but it seemed to be perched on the edge of a Mariah Carey diva fit.  She warmed up like a lady for dressage with just an occasional leap.  Calmly and tactfully using walk trot transitions to keep her brain and engage her body.  Canter leg yields loosened her up where I actually felt a supple back and neck.  Then we moved to the second warm up area between the two dressage rings and wah lah, like magic, Mariah Carey showed up.  And, the challenge was to make it to the arena without an explosion. 

Our dressage test was much like my college grades...  A's and F's with little in between.   I do think we impressed the judge with tempe changes on the right lead canter circle.  We got a 5 for the movement (generous) but I think she gave me the extra point for clean changes on a 20 meter circle.  35.4 - 10th place - "Tactful ride on difficult tense horse."  Middle of the Pack - Yay us! 

On to the jumping phases!  The progress I'm making on my nerves (panic attacks/anxiety) is steady.  I'm no where near cured and still scream in my head before the jumping phases.  I'm just getting better slowly.  I've learned to meditate and clear my brain of demons as often as possible... slowly.  The work I'm doing on my anxiety has everything to do with "being in the moment" and breathing with deep yoga breathes... soothing me, allowing life to fill my lungs and relaxing my horse. 

Town Hill is a fabulous event which upped the anty this year.  Tremaine Cooper redid the XC track and it was a great improvement on an already fine venue.  The course was gallopy, used the undulation of the Connecticut hills and added some great questions (not for horses new at this level).  Stadium Jumping is always challenging here but Sug and I seem to like it because we always go clean.  This year's had some fascinating turns that made it look fun.

Our Stadium Jumping was the best ever!  We were calm.  I rode tactfully, tight in the tack with a strong lower leg.  I allowed her to jump after making it clear (calmly) that nothing would jump out and bite her.  And she did in the most hunterly fashion... in rhythm with a good jump.  I was elated - Double Clear!  Then off to XC.

(I have witnesses...)

Our XC run was amazing... for the first time in a long time, we galloped at jumps and jumped them in stride.  Nothing seemed to bother us...  not the white house with the green top (#3), not the big brush jump, not even the ditch four strides to the gray house (#7 & #8).  My trainer felt that I was a little tough with my seat at the feeder combination (#10a and b).  My line through the water took us in the path of a Training house and I knew if I had asked she would have taken it.  She galloped through that water and then two strides up and over the roll top.

This is the buttocks
Picture it riderless! ;)

Fence 13 is a bench filled with hay bales.  Now, if you read this blog you might know that Sug and I have "hay bale issues".  Many an E has been at hay bale filled jumps - not all - but many.  I was determined to JUMP THAT JUMP!  When Sugar picked her head up, 7 strides away, in a spook like motion, I spanked her (hard?) on her shoulder.  And, my athletic-one-tempe-changes-can-canter-in-place-and-leap-into-the-air lil' pinto pony did a 180, spinning her Master (old) Rider off onto the ground just three jumps from the finish.

The poor jump judge...  After she asked me if I was ok, she said somewhat still startled, "You guys looked great through the water.  I never saw anything spin so fast!"  Thus violating #2 - Don't scare the spectators.

It was not a tactful correction followed up by a supporting leg.  It was an over-reaction to a perceived threat that, I believe, actually proved to Sugar that something will jump out and bite her.  Yes, she was over dramatic...  I think if I had followed the day's advice, "Be determined! Ride calmly and tactifully!" at worse we would have had a refusal but maybe we would have jumped the jump.  Who knows!

Those ears, like that, are telling a story!

Best line of the day...  Sug took off like her butt was on fire.  (God, she is beautiful galloping riderless!)  And after being caught, they asked my Bestest Eventing Buddy if she wanted the vet to look at her...  Stonefaced and innocent she replied, "Why?  Does she want to euthanize her?"  Gotta love Eventers!

Next time...  maybe we won't need the GRRRRR, maybe we should use the grrrrr instead!  I'm still smiling...  it was a good weekend that might have been great!  I'll smile knowing that it was good and be ok with that!

WINNING WITH 85.77%

UNH Dressage 2012 - Photo used with permission
www.yokinaphoto.com

For the dressage enthusiast, this title says it all...  there was brilliance in movement, a suppleness that is liquid gold, a test with Rolex accuracy and the beauty of elegance and power.  It is a score that most dream about and few achieve.     And, you ask?  Did you achieve such a score?  Was there something about your day at Town Hill Horse Trials that radiated brilliance, beauty, elegance, and power?




Why yes we did have all of that but not necessarily exactly where you would expect to see it.  Yet, if I recall, the bar was set at low... COMPLETE!  Eventing Rule # 1 - Leave together and come back together!   No matter what, I was to cross that finish line...  And, I did!  I DID!

Our Dressage was nice - certainly not 85.77 quality but a 32 - one of our best!  Sugar was still my perky lil' pinto pony in the warm up with a few airs-above-the-ground as the Training Level XC course lay before her and excited her lil' engine.  She was obedient, supple but overall "needed more energy".  Personally, I have seen "more energy" and was happy with obedient and well, present.

For the next hour, I pondered thoroughly all the whys I put myself through this agony as I waited for the jumping phases.  I would share a few but really couldn't come up one reason.  So I flipped/flopped between quitting all together to how I could cleverly phrase withdrawing again without feeling humiliated.  Thank god, my Bestest Evening Buddy was taming the wild youngun' out on the Novice track or she might have had to put me out of my misery.

Wheatogue Stables - an Equi-Spa of immense proportions

There is nothing worse than that long walk to Stadium Jumping... alone, filled with nerves, the pressure to be perfect and the unrelenting fear of failure and embarrassment.  I so wanted a coach, a groom or any familiar face to remind me that this is fun and that I have the ability to do it!

A wise woman once told me that there is goodness and surprise everywhere if you look for it.  Angels and gifts come in all kinds of places.  These two, for me, were stabled with us in the most luxurious barn the night before and parked right next to the warm up ring.  Last night it was, "Is that Sugar?"   "Yes", I said.  "I read your Blog" was her reply.  Today, it was "Have fun!  You'll do fine!  Remember, you were ready for the move-up to Training!  This is easy for you both!"  

{{{{Special note to you both...  THANKS!  I needed that more than you can know!}}}} 

Sugar, in the jumping phases, seemed to be a bit shocked at finding herself in a maze of colorful poles, flowers and boxes as I guided her back to trailer parking.  It was as if it were her first time out.  We had a rail in SJ over a course of encouragement with a tad of "I think you can" struggle.  I believe we were fifth at this point.

Back of the Water Complex
First Course Walk needed a map

Town Hill's Cross Country course is a combination of busy-ness and long gallops.  The jumps are beautiful with some but not garish decoration.  The footing was perfect and the day gorgeous.  Sugar was filled with OTTB excitement.

I chose to embody the inner Calder...  an intensity in achieving the goal, the quietness of body, sheer grit and determination... reins in one hand and a dangling but prepared stick in the other... no anger just guts.  I would complete.

XC was not Sugar's best... She appeared "surprised" that anyone would think to put small houses, hay bales and other such obstacles in a well mowed path through hay fields... And at each such obstacle I had to firmly ask her to greet them with a happy little jumping effort.... What joy!

Now, when you have 14 obstacles to clear and two of them were... um...  not immediately jumped...  the percentage of completion is actually a GREAT dressage score - 85.77%.  You see, at two jumps... the dreaded hay bales and the second house jump which was similar to the first house jump, the same to the third house jump and surprisingly similar to the house jump we warmed up over 3 times in the warm up ring, I was a bit slow on my encouragement.

Despite two ginormous spooks, I never stopped riding.  We crossed over the finish line immediately after a spook at the last Training fence.  I completed and could not have been happier.  Not our best performance by far but the best in over a year.  We did finish above two horses named Elimination, one named Retired and another cutely called Withdraw.   

So the bar is raised again. Next event, I want to complete and make it back to the trailers without falling off.  {{{SIGH}}}

Would prefer that my butt be in the
saddle as you watch the white buttocks
galloping away

Here's a Public Service Announcement...

Always wear your helmet and no matter how cool you look riding your pinto pony on the buckle... A big spook, dropped hips and a scoot will put all that coolness to bed as you find yourself toppling over her "how-do-you-get-her-white" buttocks landing HARD on your left hip and hitting your well helmeted head on the ground!

Sugar looked brilliant as I watched her ample white bottom gallop away.  Her capturers could not stop telling me how beautiful she looked as she galloped towards them mane and tail flying in the wind as my reins and stirrups flapped freely beside her - the brown enhancing the "how-do-you-get-her-so-white" body...

Like I said... an 85.77 is guaranteed to give you brilliance, beauty, elegance and power.  Next time I will be on her...  just sayin'!

Still happy and grateful!

COMPETE TO COMPLETE

Just once, only once...  I kind of hope that when I jokingly tell my family that I'm going on a date, no one seems surprised.  It should be the kind of announcement that is taken in stride, greeted with a yawn or perhaps, a mere nod of the head as the conversation continues on.  That would be nice...  

Not surprised, at all!

Instead, heads snap to attention, bodies lean forward and I can hear the sharp intake of breath...  {{{Here it comes!}}}  YOU'VE GOT A DATE!!!  Their eagerness and desperation does not match mine... at all.  But, alas this blog is not about THAT!

At the City Barn, horse girls will yap.  And, as the weekend approaches, the talk turns to who is doing what, and where... I say to my Barn Peeps...  This weekend we're going to Town Hill Horse Trials...  just Beginner Novice.  You know, we're just going to get out there and do it.  My only goal is to complete.

"Complete?", said Newbie, "Complete?  Shouldn't your only goal be to come home safely?  Completing is an aggressive goal!"

{{{{Really?  Thanks for the vote of confidence}}}}  Remember, I did come home safely from UNH in May...  that counts, right?   {{{SIGH}}}

"That's a good goal!  You go girlfriend!" said Bestie CB Buddy, "Completing would be a big accomplishment and I know you can do it!  Ribbons are over rated, you should be happy to complete!"

{{{{Ah, come on...  really?  Can't you just say, I know you can do it and win too...  SIGH}}}}

And my Bestest Eventing Buddy, "Right, no pressure...  Git er done!  And then worry about a ribbon..."

{{{Ok, not really a vote of confidence but no surprise...}}}

Back when I was feeling the grrrrr!

It is my goal.  And as odd as it sounds (and in the true sense of confession), no one knows us at Town Hill.  It shouldn't matter if they do but in some ways, I feel no pressure to perform.  I can just be and hopefully that will be one kick-a** competitor with a horse on fire, eager to jump and carry me across the finish line.  

I want this one...  And, without the desperation of the dateless, I need this one!  And, I can feel it in my heart, I will have this one...  Let the cowgirl roar! 

And maybe, just maybe the next time I leave the start box, it will be to win...  just sayin'!  Maybe, huh?