WINTER WORKOUTS

“Should you find a wise critic to point out your faults, follow him as you would a guide to hidden treasure.” Buddha (really, it is a Buddha quote, no fooling!)

Once again I found myself at another, "Give-Peace-a-Chance-Breathe-Deeply-Envision-a-Perfect-Ride" sports psychology seminar focused on Anxiety in the Rider.  Yes, horse related practices once again... 

Always good to look at things again!

I signed up to support the New Barn Girl 'cause I've been to every training, every seminar, therapists, energy healers and I know how to do TFT/EFT, meditate, take rescue remedy...  I'm all set with the Anxiety issue... no need to go for me....  All set!  

 Then, at my last jumping lesson, I looked at my ever-patient Eventing Trainer and said, "Um, I guess I need the clinic for me... huh?!"  She just shook her head and said, "You really need to ask?"  Sigh...

Anxiety happens...  And, it happens to everyone...  And, it can be good if appropriately evaluated, and embraced.  It can stimulate, protect and yes, paralyze.  You just gotta figure out how to deal with it and how to make it work for you.

So, she gave us an Anxiety Scale for Training (doubt that is what she called it).  If you are always working in the 1-4 range, there is no growth/training - you are basically status quo.  Training takes place in the 5-7 range - there is stress but you (horse and human) are open and able to learn/improve.  

If you hit an 8 - 9, your body reacts and your brain begins to work on survival mode - Training/learning does not happen.  If you hit a 10, you are in survival mode and reactions are most likely instinctive.

 The goal should be to ride more often in the 5-7 range and if you hit an 8, back off - rinse and repeat.  Oh, she did say that riding in the comfort zone is fine, just be aware of it and what it is.

Looking bold but not so much!

So Ms Maisy, let me introduce you to Winter Work.  You see, my love, left to our own devices, we've been in the comfort zone rarely kicking it up to a 5.  Our Trainers have been good enough to push into the 5-7 range but, really... how often is that?  I believe that we've, kind of, settled into the riding version of a big comfy couch clutching a glass of warm milk and watching re-runs on Netflix.  

So Ms Maisy, our comfort level is set at a 7.  I promise you that we will back it down if you're stress level kicks into an 8 due to the high winds and pelting debris against the indoor wall or if all your friends leave the indoor at once.  Yes, we will push ourselves out of lethargy while being clear that our plan can be changed where appropriate.  But, Ms Maisy... think 7!

 And, maybe, the next time we jump, we've conditioned our bodies/minds to want to be at a 7 and, crossing into an 8 will be a mildly uncomfortable memory...  Wouldn't that be nice?!

FIRST DAY WANDERINGS

Holiday Bonnets are a must!

It was supposed to be a post about two horse girls romping around the state park celebrating the start of the New Year!  We had it planned out to a grand conclusion to the Holiday Season with each horse happily wearing their holiday attire... 

Alas, we got ice.  I mean we got ice, not soft cushiony snow in all its gorgeous whiteness... we got ice.  And, that gorgeous blue sky and winter sun?  Neither the Newbie Eventer or I actually ordered that day from the weather gods.  Instead, it was grey, cold with a raw moist wind.  It was not meant to be. 

I stayed in and nursed my cold while nesting just a little bit.  I'm sure Newbie Eventer braved the rawness of the day and perfected the 20 meter circle and the counter canter.  Sigh...

Here's a confession for you...  I don't do New Year's Resolutions.  Mostly, these are "things" that are announced that are the "things" one should be doing on a daily basis.  And, often, these "things" are unachievable because the "thing" is something set way too high.  I just don't believe in them. 

A Wise Woman once suggested that I should set an intention.  Something that I intended to do and intended to accomplish.  Hmmm  rather than resolve to do something, I could intend to do it.  Sounds so... well, achievable.  Like improving on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.  Set an intention... 

Well, I intend to keep improving my riding and relationship with Maisy.  And, I intend to have fun while jumping (not just afterwards).  And, of course, I intend to event this summer.  Seems easy and powerfully positive... but, not quite enough. 

The freedom gained by letting go!

You see what I really intend to do is to let go of worrying so much!  Think about a life where you aren't worried that if you don't clean your horse's feet every day, they'll abscess.  Think about how nice it will be to trust that making mistakes are a natural part of learning and that it won't ruin what has already been accomplished. 

And imagine a jumping lesson where you just be and not worried that everything will go wrong...  Imagine, if you lived a life where you could be alert and alive without the added anxiety of prevention... 

That same Wise Woman also said that in order to make a change, you had to first be aware of what needed to be changed and then accept how it manifests in your life.  Only when you've become aware and have some level of acceptance, can you take the actions needed to affect change.

I see the subtleties of my worry which is often cloaked in sound horsemanship or in good solid practices.  (Awareness)  I also know how those worries have both helped and hindered me (Acceptance).  This intention is directed at really taking action to change the way of thinking and acting...  There is a balance there and it will be my intention to find it and live in its core...


For now, as I ponder my intention.  Let me share my New Year's Eve Facebook status.  It said it all:

2015 was a year of huge changes, big decisions and heart moments... Life is to be lived and each of those things are just cobblestones on the path forward. Tonight, with a sniffling cold, I bathe myself in gratitude for the folks, critters and gifts in my life that make it so rich! Thanks to you all! And Happy New Year!!!

Wishing you all a Joyful and Worry-Free New Year!

{{{Note - not sure what I'll write about if I truly go worry-free... Oh My!}}}

TIME AND TIME AGAIN!

Last night I cupped Maisy's nose in the palm of my hands and gently lifted that velvety softness to my lips and kissed her.  I paused and kissed her again, this time loudly smacking my lips, and  told her that I loved her.  No one saw the tears in my eyes...  It was the moment where I knew that my heart was big enough to love again - fully and completely.  "I really do love you Maisy, I really do..." whispered for  our ears alone.

Grimacing after
falling at a gallop
(long story)

Time is the only thing that heals...  Time.  I rail about not having enough time, or trying to fit everything in and be on time.  My job forces me to plan months ahead so time always has a fleeting feel to it.  Yet, time is our friend if cradled and lived for every moment we have. 

This Fall was hard on so many levels.  Did I tell you that I went back to school?   Traditionally it is my busy season at work but being short staffed compounded an already high stress time and without an indoor, I struggled to do it all.  In my mind, whatever I did fell short of doing a good job on anything.

Maisy and I were doing ok, getting better but I still felt that we were missing a connection...  I was still just riding her, just learning about her, just trying to get it all done and on to the next day.  There was no time.

Our first fox hunt was a bit of a bust...  Someone said that Virginia hunt country horses have some adjusting to do when switching from the big open fields and live hunting to the narrow wooded paths and the stop/start of our New England drag hunting.  I decided to skip hunting her this season and begin again in the Spring or Fall of next year.

With Permission
www.yokinasphoto.com

Sugar was a bit of a challenging horse with her Mariah Carey/diva-like stance on life.  And, there are umteem posts within this blog chronicling them.  What Sugar was, without a doubt, was an amazing Hunt Horse!  I could take her anywhere to hunt and she would be the same - cantering on a dime, would jump everything safely and accurately, would watch the field ahead slow when they slowed and gallop when they galloped, could hold hard and would stand at the check on a loose rein.

My big lovable grey pony!

I ached for her.  I truly felt our loss. 

None of this ache pulled from the love and happiness I had with Maisy.  That is the conundrum.  I could still mourn for what I had and still love what I have.  All in good time...

Last night, I jumped Maisy for the first time since October.  At first, I felt totally stressed, tight and worried that I would ruin my green, eager jumper with my rusty anxious self.  The first jump was... um...  not pretty (ok, not quite ugly).  And, as we were guided,  I became softer, more secure and slowly lost the anxiety.  In the end, I was riding and working with Maisy...  I became a trainer and not a passenger.

The Ghost of Jumping Past was gone and, Her Grayness and I really saw the Ghost of Jumping Present and Future. 

It is about time...

THAT ONE THING!

It's always that one thing that "ruins" everything.  If I speak in front of a crowd and one survey card is less than complementary, I forget about all those that were positive or constructive and focus instead on that one thing...  that one thing...

That one thing

Have I mentioned yet that Maisy and I did dressage work out in the field with just the brilliance of a full moon lighting our way?  Or maybe I didn't tell you how the Happy Young Professional (HYP) and Her Grayness competed at the last Horse Trial and finished 4th?  Or perhaps I shared the story of our Hunter Pace success where I jumped da jumps and loved the gentle lady underneath me?

No I did not!

What I want to do is to go on and on about getting dumped at today's hunter pace.  It wasn't over a jump but during a lovely gallop through some amazing fields.  I believe that Maisy would prefer not to be in the lead but somewhere near or actually in the buttocks of her stablemate and lover Patrick.  That leading at a gallop means that she can not actually embed herself into his body and that perhaps, the additional insult was to allow another horse to come between two lovers.

{{{Hmmm, I believe I am going on and on...}}}

What does a mare do when not really wanting to be a leader and experiencing longing and concern over a lover?  I believe she makes a "quick" twist of her head and neck to look behind her and when discovering that he was further behind than what her love sick mind feels is safe, finish the turn in a big twist.

Fortunately for Maisy, Patrick was fine.  Unfortunately for me, I got thrown, well maybe off balanced and fell in a twisted heap of my own...  Shoulder, neck and lower back... strained muscles - no permanent damage.

Just one thing

Yeah, I want to go on and on...  Mostly because I feel depressed, defeated and just a hint of worthlessness.   Did I mention that I can barely move, had to ask a stranger to pick up the Epsom Salts for me because I couldn't bend down and get back up?  That feeling does add some cheer to a girl's day!

That one thing!

What I really need to do is to go on and on about how great galloping her feels like or how the one jump we took felt amazing even if she jumped big.  Or maybe I need to tell you how much fun it was to be with my team and enjoy riding out in amazing territory as the fall colors fade into gold and copper. 

And, maybe I need to tell you that when I fell, Maisy stopped and stood over me waiting for me to get up...  Yeah, that one thing!  She stopped and stood over me... waiting for me to stand up. 

That one thing!

WHINY WEDNESDAY

I've given in to the WAAA, WAAAs and leapt deeply off of Sunshiney Mountain into the gray abyss of Whiny Wednesday...  Oh believe me, I refused to give in even as I dipped my toes into the pool of moroseness.  I wanna have a pity party and I wanna have it now.

Morning's grayness @ Plantation
Horse Trials

Maisy decided that her beloved neighbor was not as attentive as she felt a mare in fall heat deserves.  And, when he denied her longing she reared up and caught her left front in the electric fence and lacerated the inside of her cannon bone.  Rumor has it that her distraught neighbor ran about his paddock until the barn folk released her from bondage.

The deep thinking of a Hound

Even though the call from the barn owner brought back the memory of his call back in March, we all knew that this injury was not critical.  When I got to the barn after work, the leg was hot, sore and swollen twice its normal size.  Cue in worry, fret and whining.

You know?  It's probably a good thing that I am an Aunt and not a Mother.  I'm pretty sure I'd be that parent that does not offer comfort and hugs...  I'm the one that says,  "I am so mad!  You did this to yourself and now it's going to cost money for the vet to see you and how am I going to find the time to ice and wrap you three or more times a day.  I hope you're happy with yourself."  {{{Um, I actually was that mom to Maisy... oopsie!}}}

Yeah...  I'm not proud of that but, this is a confessional blog... sigh!

Maisy & her Happy Young Professional
Used with permission Spotted Vision
Photography

And, I'm not whining about the time or the money or even the possibility of scratching my first (and last for the season) event.  I'm whining because I HATE WRAPPING LEGS!  There I said it.  I hate to do it!  I hate the responsibility it carries to do it right or suffer the consequences.  I hate leaving the barn wondering if this is the night that she gets a bandage bow because I wrapped too tightly.  And, if I wrap to loosely, I'm afraid that they will fall down and tighten around the feet/leg cutting circulation and ruining the foot/leg.

The vet came and declared the leg sound, the laceration superficial and is treating the hematoma underneath the cut seriously and aggressively to prevent lymphangitis.  I get to walk under saddle for three days (15 minutes) and then ice, treat the wound and wrap.  She is clear that everything will be ok.

I need to stay with that...  She is going to be fine!  And, I need to stop lamenting our fate.  Everything will be ok. And, I need to be a better parent - love and comfort her...  Yeah, that sound doable!  Maisy is gonna be ok!

SEASONING

I had corn for dinner tonight.   Deliciously sweet and seasoned with butter, salt and fresh ground pepper... It was the first ear of corn and most likely the last.  The season for sweet, farm fresh corn is over and, I was late in tasting that delectable deliciousness...  "'Til next year, 'til next year", I say, "'til next year!"

Yesterday was the very last recognized Horse Trial here in Area 1 and there is some sadness in saying good bye!  Some folks will travel south and catch a few in Area 2 and others will be cleaning and putting away vests, studs (or if you're me, you throw them in your tack box and act surprised when they have mud on them and are a bit rusty.) "'Til next year, 'til next year", I say, "'til next year!"

Maisy was lucky to finish her second Horse Trial ever with the Happy Young Professional (HYP)!  Have I mentioned that she's Irish (IDSH)?  And, if you know anything about the Irish, they are a bit bold, maybe a tiny bit stubborn, love to socialize and are a bit too smart (OK, I'm of Irish descent and I can name a few other interesting stereotypes.)  Ms Maisy is very true to her heritage (although she is half German, hmmmm).



Used with permission
www.spottedvisionphotography
 

At the barn, she's shaking like a leaf perhaps anticipating a wild day of hunting, or a long separation from her beloved gelding friends?  At the show, she boldly moved off with nary a hesitation (let me show you a few things HYP).  She floated around the crowded warm up as if she was alone in a valley of thick sweet clover - light on the ground, soft in her body and floppy ears.

This show she knew her job and wanted to help the HYP do the dressage test... well the one that she KNEW and not necessarily the one required by the organizing committee.  The HYP was discreet in reminding her that this was just her second go and that maybe the HYP knew more than she did.  It was a lovely test - 30.8 for first place.



Used with permission
www.spottedvisionphotography

Her jumping was big, bold and brassy.  Did we not know that she did this three weeks ago and knows exactly what she should be doing? If you watch the video, you can see a moment's hesitation...  My Lil' Country Bumpkin might know what she's doing but she still doesn't understand what all the activity is outside of the arena and sometime gets distracted (SQUIRREL).  Clean and still in 1st place.

Her cross country was fast and her jumping careful.  There was never a hesitation in her jumping but there was a big galloping stride that added 2.8 speed faults finishing in 4th place.  And, Ms Maisy was quite pleased with herself...  And, I'm sure would've enjoyed a beer!

Today, she and her BFF went on a Hunter Pace.  Despite a few moments of hysteria when her lover left her or new horses joined us at the check, she was a very lovely ride.  And, I jumped jumps (not all of them) and she was quite the lady!  I love this horse!  I really do!

 Our debut will be at a schooling show on Halloween.  My only goal is to get the first done so I too can be a bold, smart, know-it-all!  Then, cheers to winter wanderings and some butt kicking jumping lessons... 

Next year it would be great to start the season early... hmmmm, maybe I'll have sweet corn in June next year too!

JUST BE!

Ganesh - the Remover
of Obstacles

What we think, we become.  Buddha

 

We all know an Eeyore...  it's that person who always seems to have bad luck.  Things never go right for them no matter what... Life is always hard!  If you were to ask an Eeyore how was their day, they would have a long list of things that didn't go well.  Ask them what did go well and you'd stop them in their tracks - "nothing" would be their sad reply.  Eeyore's life is exactly what they want it to be because, "What we think, we become."

 

My confession this Sunday night...  I think I've become Maisy's Eeyore. 

 

Oh, did I mention that Maisy's Happy Young Professional competed my Lil' Country Bumpkin at her first recognized Horse Trial?  Well, Maisy came out of the trailer and marched down to the dressage warm up as if she was a almost-ready-to-retire-Grand-Prix-dressage-horse.  

 

All Gussied Up - Like a Grown Up

By the time I walked down to watch, Maisy was in full warm up, ears soft, fancy prancing in a very tight electric environment.  I turned to a friend and said, "I know she's mine but dear god, if she wasn't I'd be lusting after that horse!" 

 

She entered the ring at a brilliant, relaxed trot and... wait... where is the spooking at the judges booth?  The letters?  Wait, why isn't she spooking at K?  Wait?!  That is amazing...  My Lil' Country Bumpkin did her first dressage test and scored a 28.4!  A 28.4!



 

Maisy and her HYP did well.  She was very green and jumped big but competently.  She did have a refusal at the first jump on the XC course.  She came out of the start box as if she knew exactly what she was doing.  My friend, watching, said it looked like she was confused, waiting for all the horses to follow her and stopped when they didn't.  It was the last bobble of the day and off they went with her green self getting bolder as they traveled over the course.

 

I haven't ridden well since then.  Oh, it didn't happen overnight...  Over the next two weeks, I couldn't get her straight, couldn't get her to hold herself up in the ring at a canter, and finally, couldn't even force myself to jump a cross rail by myself.  I was disgusted with myself and depressed...  "We'll just trail ride...  HYP and Dressage Trainer can show her.  They ride her better than I ever will...  I'll just get her fit."

 

We were signed up for a dressage clinic.  I wanted to cancel.  It would be in an indoor and Maisy hasn't been in one since the PPE and maybe not at all before that.  I didn't want to humiliate myself any further.  It was expensive and well, all we were capable of doing was the walk and was that worth spending the money?

 

"You know how to ride!  Why are you riding her like you don't?  Ride her exactly like you would have ridden Sugar!  You have the skills and ability to make this happen for the both of you!  Ride her like that!"

 

And, something changed.  I stopped worrying that I was ruining her, that someone rode her better than me, that it was so hard and I can't make mistakes or everything gained would be lost...  I stopped worrying and started to ride her.  Ride her just a little tougher, a little more demanding and much more confidently...  and, it was magical.  I felt that "I CAN DO THIS!" 

 

So, I dropped my entry into the mailbox.  Just a schooling show and at 2'3" Elementary and I am ok with that.  Just a mere 4 days ago, I had a lovely trail horse...  Now, I am an eventer with a green but eager event horse!

 

I CAN DO THIS!