STAYING ALIVE... AH, AH, AH... ALIVE!

Ah, work...  that wonderful, exciting place one goes to every weekday.  Sometimes, as I hurry out of the house, before the hound raises the voice of protest, I say loudly for all to hear, "I go to work every day, so you can live the life you've grown accustomed to...  I'll be back!"

Wistful for freedom!

Work is the place that offers sustenance to all under my roof - Sugar, the Convict and Mr Floppy.  It also provides some wages to a multitude of providers that keep my ship afloat - dog walkers, riding instructors, farrier, veterinarians of many specialties, house cleaners and I am sure, a few tack shops and feed stores.  I work selflessly so that others may live...

Sigh...  that nobility makes my workaholism so much better sounding, doesn't it?  You see, I do live!  For the last three weeks, my writing has been devoted to the needs of my clients. My blog has become a bit rusty and I do believe there was a bit of dust on the address bar.  I do live and for this moment, I write for me...  just sayin'!

My big worry these days (exclusive of work)?  Sugar is, for the first time since she came up from Virginia, a furry beast.  Her coat is soft and thick, like a chinchilla.  Sometimes I want to brush my cheeks along her neck fully enjoying the sensation her fine coat.   And, then I step back, open my eyes and realize that I am in a City Barn. 

{{{{Hmmm...  she's single, a "master rider" (old) and has many pets...  should we, um...  be careful not to disturb her?   Well, she's not really "quiet" in that "We didn't know much about her, she always was a bit quiet" kindof way.   I  betcha she's just... eccentric.}}}}

Not old, just hairy...
Photo used with permission
www.yokinaphotos.com

Sugar has never had a winter clip.  She's always had a very thin coat just slightly hairier than her summer coat.  One friend chuckled...  "She is getting older."  Another, "Maybe you should have her checked for Cushing's?" 

And, then the gentle craziness of the overworked, tired owner kicks in... "Old?  Thirteen isn't really that old!  No way...  it's the move to the City Barn and the wind on the hill, right?  'Cause 13 isn't really that old, right?  Nah, she's still in her prime...  13 not old.  No, not old at all... right?" 

Sug will get her first haircut...  an Irish Clip.  And, I will hold off the search for a retirement home or another riding career for my aged and infirm horse. You see, Sugar has moved into her winter phase and any mare that can spook, spin and leap over 15 meters into the center of the ring hasn't quite reached a sedentary age.

And I will work on balancing work, life without sacrificing sleep...  I am still a very lucky girl!

DOING THE NEXT RIGHT THING!

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." Stuart Smalley

I'm chanting.  Hear me chanting!  Listen to the language of a doer, a completer and yes, a winner!  I am good enough!  I am smaht!  And, doggone it, da Boys and my own precious lil' "home-schooled-autistic-child-forever-suprised-to-find-herself-outside" do like me.  And that should be "good enough, special enough and gosh darn it, just what I need."

Our record has been a bit sketchy this season... well, I guess more than just a bit sketchy - four Horse Trials and just two completions.  Just batting 500 which, I am sure you will agree, is not really good, given the dangerous nature of a sport where one rides a 1500+ pound horse over hill and dale jumping (or not) solid obstacles in your way.

Hanging out at home!

Honesty makes me say that it is easy to write this post because I see myself reading it again next year and laughing and reminiscing about the time, way back when, when I was struggling to come back.  Because, I can only see the future as bright - when dreams come true...

And humbly, I took the advice of my Bestest Eventing Buddy and Dressage Trainer and decided that it would be best for Sugar and I to have our Eventing Trainer ride her at the Virginia Horse Trials.  And my Ego screams out, "But I can do it!  I know I can do it!  We had a great ride at GMHA and Course Brook was only  blip, a bad show but that was it. I can do it!"

Winning form... 2009
Stephie Baer riding

This is not the end of our pursuit but a change in our approach.  There are naysayers about and they whisper their doubts in my ear.  "Sugar doesn't want to event, she wants to run through the woods following a pack of hounds who are being followed by a pack of riders."  "You should sell her and get something easier!"   "Sugar just doesn't give you a break!  She should've jumped!"

So, my Eventing Trainer is tactful, confident and a beautifully accurate, rhythmic rider.  She will evaluate Sugar and hopefully come up with a plan to make this marriage work.  Sugar is not for sale.  Sugar is an event horse and,now its time, once again, to let my Eventing Trainer kick both of our butts forward.

You see, 2013 is right around the corner... and I am good enough!  Certainly special enough!  And gosh durn it, da boys luf me!

THREE'S A CHARM

Let's just take a moment out and honor the history recorded in Facebook posts:

Photo used with permission
www.yokinaphotos.com

10/10/12 @ 8:59pm   - "Suzanne had a great ride tonight and is contemplating dressage... Uh HUH!

• Dressage lesson was powerful, precise.  I had a loose, supple obedient horse with jump in her canter and loft in her trot.  A heady feeling of oneness and moments of true partnership.

10/11/12 @ 8:37pm - "Suzanne is really working on lowering her expectations for Course Brook Horse Trials this weekend... after two fabulous rides on her pinto pony...  She is out of control!

• On my own, I continued to capture the feeling of suppleness, relaxation while maintaining the power of a beautiful horse.  I could see the win in our brilliant return to Novice (emphasis on brilliant).

10/12/12 @ 10:30am - "Suzanne thinks there is a better way to do a pre-show jumping lesson than being dumped twice... {{{Note to self - do not test a stronger bit the day before said show!}}}

Old bit
Photo by
 www.dexterpix.com

• So, since she was soo strong at GMHA AND I use a Pelham hunting with great results, we decided to try it out for Eventing. She was delightful on the flat and appeared to move into the bit when asked to move forward.  I blamed the first fall on perhaps me leaning on the approach although my trainer wasn't sure what happened.  We continued jumping small stuff at a trot and all seemed well.  
• The second fall was at the first approach to a bigger oxer...  Sug raised up, coming off the ground and then collapsed in the center of the oxer and then leapt up again to clear the second rail.  I did not clear the first one.  Clearly overbitted!!!
• We finished the lesson in her old bit feeling confident that she was over the trauma...

10/12/12 @ 9:21pm - "Suzanne has, for the first time EVAH, not bathed Ms Sugar for her show tomorrow. She has curried and brushed to cleanse but not to wet the pinto pony.  Hopefully, she will be grateful and carry on well tomorrow.

• The atrocity of it all...  really?  You did not bathe a white horse?  Really?  Who cares that the temp was dropping and would be 28 overnight!  Is she not the "How-do-you-get-her-so-white" horse?  {{{Appalled}}}

10/13/12 @ 2:42pm - Suzanne must go back to basics and set her goal to complete AND stay on... Just sayin'!

Not white...

That was one long lead in to say that Eventing is truly a sport designed to keep a girl humble.  There are a million ways to win and as many, to lose.  If you don't love every single bit of it, then it would be best to find another sport or hobby... 

You see, the horse that I rode that day was full of power...  not that beautiful power of a floaty trot or a springy canter but the power of a ticking time bomb.  As you ride your warm up, you're spending time figuring out which wires you need to cut to stop the ticking while avoiding the ones that accelerate the destruction.  The test was done while the ticking continued yet never reaching the point of explosion.  The judge was a bit harsh - 52.5.

Just a second to talk about what a 52.5 should look like 'cause I have ridden that test more than once in our past.  It should've have looked like a spooking, spinning mare who flips her leads with ease and grace while protesting forward motion.  This 52.5 was nothing near that.

The hat trick came in Stadium Jumping.   I had a jumping horse underneath me in the warm up and I felt calm and confident (after the normal pre-show meltdown).  Yes, there were spooky things but, I had the encouragement of my big girl spurs.  I was gonna enjoy the ride but ride every stride.

Um, jump one and two felt awesome...  three had just a hint of hesitation but Sug went when asked.  Four was the first oxer in a combination...   I did not give her the best approach but certainly not a bad one for a horse with Ivy League training.  She went up and finished  in the middle of the oxer.  I almost came off but happily stayed on.  

Working hard...

After they repaired the fence, I went back with more leg and determination....  this time I did not stick the landing.  And thus ended my move back to Novice.

Was it the bad jump school?  Did Sugar lose her confidence?  Should I retire her from Eventing 'cause, as some say, maybe she just wants to be a hunt horse?  The last question is mine to answer...  And, today...  the answer is, "No...  not yet...  No...  not yet!"

The great thing is that I am back to being like every other Eventer.  I had a bad show...  it wasn't our day...  My confidence is still intact!  I still have my GRRRR!  The desire still runs thickly through my body...  It just wasn't our day...  that's it!  Now, let's get back in the game...  one last time!

And, I'll end on a Facebook moment:

"Riding is like flying...  anyday you can walk away was a good flight!"  Pingree Hill Farm

Uh Huh!!!

HORSES ARE NOT BICYCLES

I met a Wise Woman this weekend...  God makes them and when we find them, it only takes a moment to realize how lucky you really are...

The Start...  Picture galloping this...

There is no greater adventure than leaving on a showcation with the Bestest Eventing Buddy, two fabulous steeds and Da Boys with a packed and loaded DWSB (Double Wide Short Bus).  We were going to Vermont at the peak of the Fall Foliage Season dressed like Barbie Dolls and riding like Cowgirls...  all Cross Country and no Dressage 

This post was supposed to be all about my winning ride at The New England Hunter Trials, hosted by Green Mountain Hounds.  My vision for the weekend was my "how-do-you-get-her-so-white-better-Hunt-Horse-than-Event-Horse" would dazzle the judges with her rhythm, bravery and jumping ability and we would take home all the glory for Old North Bridge Hounds.  Did I not donate blood by practicing opening and closing a gate all weekend long?

Wide open trails and Fall's beauty

{{{Note to the City Barn Folks - that blood curdling scream was just an incentive to open the gate wider to allow Sugar's ample body AND my legs to clear the gap AND the fence post.}}}

I think we, collectively, call this ego...  or, perhaps, in a kinder tone...  a dream!  'Could've been a contendah!

Beauty everywhere!

Green Mountain Hounds is a young Hunt Club, just 14 years old.  They took the challenge of hosting the New England Hunter Trials to heart...  "Build it and they will come".   The course was amazing...  beautiful galloping fields and lovely, safe and inviting natural obstacles (stone walls, coops, banks, brush jumps, post and rails).  Their hospitality was unprecedented even offering stabling and housing for those of us that came a distance.  If you were thinking, "Gee, that sounds nice, but...?"  Let me be the first to tell you, "These folks are absolutely fabulous...  Do it!"

As we walked in this amazing beauty, it became clear that the footing was deep after a week of rain.  After much teeth gnashing, debating, contemplating, deal making and a hastily made call to our MFH... the Bestest Eventing Buddy and I made the decision to scratch...  As one very eloquent person put it later, "It's always better to say "I wish I'd ridden than I wish I'd scratched", that's for sure!"

The BEST COURSE WALK EVAH!

And our Wise Woman said, "Feeling bad about making a good decision is just EGO!"  And as I said to my son when he started riding, "Horses are not bicycles...  you just don't get on, ride and then stand them up in a garage...  you got to take care of them if you expect them to take care of you!"

I love this woman.  We ended a very long ride with the best dog walk ever and a home cooked meal of beef stew, fresh bread, sweet breads, and apple pie with ice cream!  Heaven is everywhere and this weekend we found it in Vermont!

AN AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Photo used with permission
www.yokinasphotos.com

It goes without saying (but I will say it anyway), that I'm single, currently unattached (unless Chandler counts) and I'm good with that...  just sayin'!  My mom would tell you that I don't have time to fit in a romance and that perhaps, (well she wouldn't say perhaps) I am too set in my ways to have a little sumthin' sumthin' on the side, if you know what I mean.  Yet, I am woman (here me roar) and a girl can have a dream or two...  if you know what I mean...  just sayin'!

I met a man today... an older man with a deep, throaty voice...  his accent was German and his eyes were a steely blue.  And, when he spoke, you were lured into a place of dreams and success as his words carried you forward...  Folks, I speak to you of Dressage... sexy, sexy dressage.

What, you say?  How can Dressage be sexy?  Do you need to spend more time outside?  Have you lost connection with reality?  Isn't Dressage about boring circles and precise movement?  Please, Suzanne, I encourage you to try Match.com or Eharmony and leave the indoor arenas alone!

All you horse girls out there know what I mean...  a man with an accent pushing you and your steed to a place that may be difficult to achieve...  each step, each movement his voice encourages you to go deeper, to accept contact, to push forward, increase the impulsion and the arena echos with the tempo of, "That's it... yes...  That's it, That's it, That's it...  good, good, good...  YES, THAT'S IT!

"Good, let him relax, let his neck out...  good job!"

Used with permission
www.yokinasphotos.com

Phew, I do enjoy auditing a good clinic... yes indeed!  And with that, I'll leave this post with just a few tips from the master - Conrad Schumacher and some of my observations:

• I don't ride enough, ask for enough and tend to accept so little as good enough.
• Even a Prix St George rider has things to work on:
• Don't pull on the reins during a reinback
• Left seat bone has to work as well as the right seat bone.
• Sit up and ask
• The horse's back must work first... all the whips in the world won't matter if the back isn't working
• A long neck allows the back to build up muscle - short neck constrains the back
• "Keep the neck under control."
• Riders without helmets are distracting no matter how lovely the horse.
• Don't keep trotting with a bad neck, go back and fix it at the walk and then return.
• After a day off, be slow to get the engine revving again.
• "You must not be perfect but must be truly good."

Poor Sugar, she just hates when I watch upper level dressage... the next week or so may mean she'll be wicked busy...  Just sayin'!

GOT NOTHING

Looking forward at a dead run!

There are a million of ideas, thoughts and rants running through this Overthinker's mind and guess what?  None of them seem to come together coherently enough to be a post.  Could it be that I've run dry?  Have I, almost coming to my second year of writing, become.... boring?  {{{Kind of arrogant of me to think I'm not, huh?}}}

This is the time of the year that Eventing winds down, Fox Hunting gears up and work gets extremely busy and, I live in a world where I want it all!  Maybe all this overthinking is a result of overdoing which becomes the root of being overtired and then, all those thoughts that caused the overthinking stay bottled up and ready to pop...  {{{My brain hurts...}}}

A wise woman once told me that  "one should never enter his or her own mind, unescorted."  So, I bring to you just a few of the thoughts that swirl about:

PONDERING LUCK:

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."   Garrison Keillor 

So, I ask myself, why am I pondering luck? 

Who wanted 2 dogs?  Lucky me!

A professional horseman fractures his skull while wearing the top of the line helmet.  Currently they are stable and 100% functional and although they will not be able to ride for 8 weeks, they are expected to recover fully.Yes, the accident was unfortunate but the consequences could have been severe and irreversible.  Isn't he lucky that he was wearing a helmet and will recover 100% after giving their body a chance to heal?  

FOLKS THAT STAND OUT

The Mighty Mare Posse

The Mighty Mares - There are these girls (high school?), who ride these horses and they call themselves, "The Mighty Mares!"  Someone started them out well... their parents, their trainer and/or perhaps just a natural sense of goodness.  They are a team embracing their mareishness in a way that says, "We rock!"  Polite, energetic and full of laughs...   one can not help but to say, "I wanna be one of them.  I really, really do!"

Stablemates - There is something special that happens when you stable at a weekend Horse Trial.  There is an instant comraderly that happens and more often than not a friendship emerges in the stories we tell.  And, there is one who rides a diva mare who, last week, gave me the most kick a** advice after completing her cross country run... She told me her tale:

• I would not quit.  I would not stop.  I was going to attack that course and my "diva" was going to do it with me.  When she said, "I'm not sure."  I whispered in her ear, "Yes you can!"  When she said, "I will not!"  I said, "Yes, you will because today we will not quit.  Today we will come home and you will be there with me!"

We're good!

BALANCE

Um, what is that exactly?  Are you saying that I can't just throw more time and more effort at things?  Or, god forbid, are you saying that balance means making choices based on prioritizing life's events?

SUGAR

She is not for sale...  I think Stella's got her groove back!  Just sayin!

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

And God said, "Let there be light: and there was light." 

GMHA- back field coming home... neither of my jumps

I so want to keep this as simple as possible but, then...  why have a blog?  So, we completed GMHA, did not fall off anywhere on or off the course AND for the first time since we hit the tree at Groton House Farm Horse Trials, Sugar and I had fire in our bellies!

 Watching Sugar in her stall, Friday night, did not give me confidence that this was going to be a good go for us.  In just a mere 3 hours, she managed to develop a deeply fulfilling and all important relationship with a young gelding.  This Cougar could not get enough of her young cabana boy.  She frantically called out her desire as we cruelly separated them in adjoining stalls.  And, as she playfully danced her dance of a love lost, I watched the thousands of dollars in maintenance care and depo shots disappear as she leaped, reared and kicked out her unrequited desire.

Photo used by permission
www.edfarm.com

Dressage was nice... steady and obedient... just one tiny spook.  Just a reminder to all my eventing friends...  immediately after completing one show, find out what dressage test you're doing at the next show.  'Cause, I was "surprised" that I had been doing Test A for months and Test B shows up for this show.  Ooops, sorry for that late transition and excuse me if our circles were cut a teensy weensy bit short.  Ended up 3rd with a 33.8.

Stadium Jumping  was decent.  GMHA, bless their hearts had heard of Sugar's dislike of the lattice, gate, roll top or any jump with stuff and plugged up every piece of the feared material with lovely soft flowers selected for their soothing colors.  We were forward, fast and clean with nary a spook or a discussion on the merits of leaping over colorful poles or boxes.  Double clear - still in 3rd place.

Ahhh, to be a Beginner Novice rider again...  XC was scheduled just minutes before the lights went off and the crowds went home...  3:56.  Wow, that is alot of time to carefully do your course walk for the third time, prepare for the ride home, read three novels, discover the key to world harmony AND to fine tune those nerves to a new level.

Town Hill Farms 9/12
Photo used with permission www.connecticutphoto.com

Ah yes, the Course Walk with the Event Trainer... When I compete without a coach, I walk the course with the Bestest Eventing Buddy and we invoke our inner Event Trainer - hearing her words and phrases as they relate to our horses.  Well, sometimes, they get a little garbled in self translations because as we walked, I told her what I thought and she tweaked it.  And, sometimes, it was a downright...  "OHHHHH, that makes more sense!" 

And the all time favorite -  "No matter what! Do not take Sugar for granted!  Ride her every step of the way!"

We left the start box as one, no nerves - just two bossy alpha mares going to work.  She had a tiny discussion at the blue house, a bigger question at the yellow house and, then like it had been for years, she was on fire!  She kept telling me to stop nagging her, she knows everything and the faster she ran, the sooner she could be near her lover.  Those things in her way....  "just let me at them, I gotta date in 4.06 minutes".  And, I mostly let her have her way as long as she acknowledged, "rider on board" when I gave her a tug or two.

So the "toughest" jump on the course was 8A (brush jump) and 8B (small coop) on a bending line back to the barn but away from the beautiful galloping hill in front of us.  On the course walk, we had a lovely chat about the rules and what I should do if she jumped big, I lost my stirrups, etc.  The plan - go up to the left and then come down to the coop... do not cross your line. 

Town Hill Farm
photo used with permission
www.connecticutphoto.com

• "But, ET? Could I not try to turn my handy, athletic mare in the air and make the "sharp" turn? 
• "Yes, you could if she was completely under you and you executed a plan.", said ET.

So let me remind everyone that just a mere four months ago and for most of the summer, I had no confidence... nada, nothing...  just making it ... barely as an eventer.

So, we come to 8A and I ask my lil' pinto pony to sit on her buttocks and come up under me as we come to the Brush Jump.  She gathered and I gave her just a little nudge with my spur and, um...  she exploded upward, hit the ground and galloped towards the hill in front of us...  And, as I made the motions to turn to the coop, I watched us pass it by.

{GOD this is a long one...  sorry}

Town Hill Farm
photo used with permission
www.connecticutphoto.com

Here's where a being a jump judge can be a little bit problematic.  I stopped Sugar and very carefully turned her so as to not cross our line, trotted the horse length's opening I thought I had to not cross my line and trotted the "normally scary" coop and galloped on.  That little bit of trying to beat the system probably cost me the time faults.

Photo used with permission
www.yokinaphotos.com

Leaping over the final house jump and crossing that finish line was the best fun ever.  I don't care about those 20 points...  We were awesome TOGETHER!  And, yes, I worry my Eventing Trainer some times when I get "cocky" and try more advanced techniques 'cause I think we can rather than just getting the job done.  It's a blast and I can not stop smiling!

Maybe it was the exhaustion from two nights of unresolved lust, maybe it was the reawakening of thousands of dollars in training, maybe it was the place or maybe, just maybe... we're both back... whole again!